During Holy week, Imago Dei set up stations of the cross, available in the evenings to walk through. I was given the opportunity to be responsible for the station that represented Jesus washing His disciples’ feet.
“If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. For I have given you an example, that you should do as I have done to you.”
John 13: 1 -15
This reminds me of 1 Peter 5 when we are directed to be submissive to one another and be clothed with humility.
Lizel walked to each station with me, to translate. When we arrived at the feet washing station, we took turns washing one another’s feet. I have only had my feet washed one other time. My reaction both times was surprising, it’s a mixture of embarrassment, humility, comfort and intimacy. Being able to wash Lizel’s feet was an honor and an expression of love.
I remember last summer I was sitting out in my yard in the sun when I received a voice note from Hermi in South Africa. She said that she was praying for me and that she felt compelled to share 1 Peter 5:2-4:
“Shepherd the flock of God which is among you, serving as overseers, not by compulsion but willingly, not for dishonest gain but eagerly, nor as being lords over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock, and when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the crown of glory that does not fade away.”
I chose to memorize it at the time and when my eyes glanced over it again this morning, it spoke to me differently. As I read it, the song “Echo Holy” was playing, the lyrics, “Standing at the end of time. There before the throne of grace. Majesty before my eyes. Let it take my breath away.” I imagined “when the Chief Shepherd appears”, standing before Him and asking myself have I been an example of Christ? Have I been serving willingly and eagerly?
Yesterday when I woke up, I was overwhelmed. I’ve had several South Africans request to meet with me for therapy and my time here is coming to an end. I don’t have enough time to see everyone I would like to, and I also don’t like the idea of only being able to see them once. I was crying as I reflected on this, realizing that I wanted to stay. Not only to provide therapy but to see Lizel after her operation as well. She has been struggling emotionally with fear and uncertainty. The nights she has crawled in my bed at 2am crying, asking me to hold her hand and pray with her, break my heart and I wish I had more to give her.
Later in the afternoon, I met with a 20 year old South African at Lizel’s house, to do EMDR on past trauma she experienced. After we were done, she was visiting with Lizel as I looked up my flight, considering changing it. Lizel could tell I was distressed and asked what was wrong. I started crying and told her I felt torn. I knew if I stayed longer I would be disappointing my clients, potentially my family and friends as well. I also was worried my clients wouldn’t be willing to see me virtually and then the financial implications also were coming to mind. I realized I was going to be disappointing people either way and I knew in my heart what I felt compelled to do, so I changed my flight.
I needed to sort myself out so I left for a jog and the 20 year old asked if she could play with my tablet while I was gone. This morning, as I opened my tablet to journal, I came across a message she left for me, while I was running:
“Hi Kristen,
Hebrews 13: 5 “… be content with what you have, for He has said: ‘I will never leave you, nor forsake you’. So we can confidently say, ‘The Lord is my Helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?’
Phil. 4: ” … for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.”
I Tim. 6:6 “Godliness with contentment is great gain”.
Contentment is found in the face of God. The writer of Hebrews turns the focus away from money (needs) and he focuses our attention to what God has said. Contentment is found when we look to God and yield to His Word. He said that He will never leave us nor forsake us. Contentment is found in the face of God.
Contentment is ours when we fully know & appreciate the work of the Lord through the cross of Jesus Christ. May the character, love, kindness, might, compassion and promises of our Lord drive us to contentment. I might think that godliness is a gain, but godliness with contentment is of great gain. I believe gain in this life, and the life to come -eternal value.”
What a sweet surprise this morning. There is so much uncertainty but we can place our hope in God, who richly provides us with everything we need. When we choose to be content with the riches of Christ, our lives will be more in line with God’s desire for us, because “where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” (Matthew 6:21)
I have an EMDR training in Seattle in 3 weeks, so I decided to stay until then.
My heart feels full and at peace.
I am choosing to trust in the Lord and not lean on my own understanding. I just need to continue to seek His will in all I do.