I remember that it only took about 3 days in Africa for my perceived problems to fall away from my conscious. Being present with others in their suffering brings my problems into perspective. I intended to share with my couple of close South African friends about what has been going on in my life, but it quickly seemed meaningless. I’m not dismissing my challenges, but in comparison to theirs, I lost the desire to share and they seemed so insignificant at the time.
Once I arrived home it took a couple of weeks for me to be reminded and for them to come into focus. But can I tell you, the Lord is good. He has brought people into my life, for me to sit with, like I did in Africa. Being able to be with people in their pain, undistracted and empathetically engaged. My problems again shrink and instead, I am overwhelmed with gratitude for the blessings in my life, I had previously took for granted. It creates a generous heart, eager to serve and open hands. I feel the closest to Jesus when I am with the suffering or am suffering myself. I am so grateful that my job is to be with the suffering. I get to experience the closeness of the Lord daily. If I choose to be present.
He is showing me that I don’t have to be in Nicaragua or South Africa to be undistracted, to live simply, to abide with Him intentionally, or to be generous with my time, my skills or His gifts. I just have to make the choice of what I am going to focus on, with the time I have.
One morning, as I spent time with the Lord, watching the sunrise, the hymn, “Holy, Holy, Holy” began playing in my mind. I tried to ignore it but it continued, so I stopped what I was doing and sang it out loud. It brought tears to my eyes and it was a moment of revelation and joy. Like I understood and experienced worship in a deeper way. Afterwards, I went on a run, listening to a podcast and Revelation 4 was being referenced, when the angels were rejoicing:
“Holy, holy, holy, Lord God Almighty,
Who was and is and is to come.”
“You are worthy, O Lord,
to receive glory and honor and power,
for you created all things
and by Your will they exist and were created.”
I stopped running for a minute because I was like… Lord! Then I got in my car and Phil Wickham’s song, Hymn of Heaven, came on the radio. I knew He was trying to get my attention; my ears were open.
“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!”, Philippians 4:4. It’s a command. How am I doing on rejoicing in the Lord? His commands lead to life, they are good. It is more blessed to give than to receive. I would rather be empty now and full later. Not full now, and empty later.
This was just the beginning, for the past 3 weeks I have read, heard, seen this. I don’t know how to explain the enlarging of my heart recently, it’s like I’ve experienced this increased reverence for the Lord, deep gratitude, desire to honor Him. I have been thinking about the day I come face to face with God. It has created a deeper hunger to abide with Him, to spend time in worship and prayer. These are just a few of the scriptures that He is pointing me to:
“He lifted his eyes and looked behold a man stood opposite him.” When Joshua realized it was the Lord he “fell on his face to the earth and said “What does my Lord say to His servant?”
Joshua 5:13-15
“Behold, the star went before them and stood over where the Young Child was.” When the wise men saw Jesus, they fell down and worshiped Him.
Matthew 2:9
John looks up and behold seated across from him was the Lord sitting on the throne in heaven. The elders fell down before Him and worshiped Him.
Revelation 4
“Have you not known? Have you not heard? Has it not been told you from the beginning?”
“It is He who sits above the circle of the earth.”
“Who stretches out the heaven like a curtain, and spreads them out like a tent to dwell in.”
“Lift up your eyes on high and see Who has created these things.”
Isaiah 40:21-26
True worship is a lifestyle. We worship in spirit when are hearts are abandoned before the Lord.
Isaiah 43:19 has been coming up a lot and I realized how I used to think this scripture was about me waiting on the Lord to do this promised “new thing” in my life, thinking it was going to be something I would physically see or obtain. What He has been showing me these past few weeks is that the new thing He is creating is in my heart. I am the new thing. Yes Lord, I perceive it. This is my inheritance, a sound mind, for me to see clearly.
I want to be His gathered wheat in the barn. (Matthew 3:12)