18 years ago, I graduated from my undergrad as a social worker. Ever since then, I have poured every ounce of hard work and dedication into my career. My dream was to someday be a therapist in my own private practice—which seemed impossible as a 21-year-old caseworker. However, my ambition and determination led me to go to grad school, obtain multiple licenses, and gain the necessary experience, working my way toward making that dream a reality.
I love my job and find deep fulfillment in it. I see how God is using the gifts He has given me to help others, and it’s humbling to be trusted by Him and my clients to help them navigate life’s difficulties.
After 18 years of my identity being heavily career-driven, having my first baby at age 38 created an internal conflict I never anticipated.
For the first time in my life, I find myself at a crossroads, torn between my career and a desire to focus on being a mom and raising my daughter.
As I’ve been praying about it and reading the Bible, I thought God would provide a clear answer—like either going back to work full-time or being a stay-at-home mom.
Silly…
Reading about the virtuous woman in Proverbs 31, she is described as being deeply committed to her home and family, yet she is also an entrepreneur, counselor, and caregiver to her community. Her ministry outside the home and her care inside the home coexist.
In Titus 2, we are encouraged to love our children and care for our homes… but then women like Priscilla and Lydia are celebrated for ministering alongside their husbands or being businesswomen.
Ecclesiastes 3 reminds us that, “there is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.”
I want to be obedient to God in ministry, but also as a mother.
I was reading 1 Peter 5, where Peter says, “Shepherd the flock of God that is among you… willingly, as God would have you.” I initially saw this as a clear leading to go back to the office, but I was taken aback when I sensed the Holy Spirit confronting me with the reality that Rebekah IS a sheep (well, a lamb) in my flock.
I realized that shepherding Rebekah’s soul is not a distraction from ministry; it is ministry. God isn’t standing over me demanding that I choose between being a good Christian counselor or a good mother. Instead, He gave me a heart for both counseling and a love for Rebekah. It is not as black-and-white as I had hoped, but God relates to us in our human complexity. He gives us wisdom and invites us to discern how to steward our trusted gifts. He doesn’t demand a black-and-white answer, but asks for a heart that seeks after Him.
I originally planned on going back to the office by October 1, but instead, I have decided to start by working virtually from home up to 10 hours a week, slowly increasing to 20 hours by the end of the year, and revisiting going back into the office at the beginning of the year.
As a former client myself, I know the preference, the increased connection, and the quality of in-person therapy. I know this decision will disappoint many of my clients, as well as me. It’s also a hard decision financially for my family, too. But it’s a decision that has eased the tension in my heart and brought me peace.
I was praying about how nice it would be to have both—specifically, the desire to build a home office at the back of my house—and was thinking about how it felt impossible given our current circumstances. Then, a song started playing in my mind… maybe some of you are familiar with it…
“Impossible…
For a plain yellow pumpkin
To become a golden carriage!
Impossible…
For a plain country bumpkin
And a prince to join in marriage!
And four white mice will never be four white horses—
Such fol-de-rol and fiddledy dee of course is
Impossible!”
Rodgers and Hammerstein’s Cinderella… It’s comical sometimes how the Holy Spirit will use childhood memories I haven’t thought of in 20+ years to illustrate a Biblical truth.
The core message of this song spoke to me about my own human limitations being unable to limit divine power. In the story, Cinderella faces circumstances that appear entirely fixed and hopeless, yet a sudden intervention turns her reality around. I realized I need to surrender both the practical dream of a home office and this whole broader season of transition to God, trusting Him to move in every detail.
This directly parallels Matthew 19:26: “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” When I look at my situation through human eyes—whether it’s financial hardship, practical limits, or my own personal inadequacy—the barriers often look absolute. Trusting God means recognizing that whether it’s providing a way for a home office or guiding this entire career shift, I may be out of options, but He never runs out of ways to act.
Before the transformation happens in the song, Cinderella has to move from agreeing that something is “impossible” to stepping out in belief that “it’s possible.” The shift doesn’t happen until hope replaces doubt.
Similarly, Luke 1:37 reminds me that “no word from God will ever fail.” Putting my faith in God means taking that same mental and spiritual leap—moving past my own doubts and choosing to believe that He can make a way for both my home and my work, even when there seems to be no way.
Rebekah was a champ at her doctor’s appointment this week, getting her first shot. I was praying that she would be strong as I watched David comfort her, preparing her for the sudden pain. She let out a brief cry but then was fine! David impressed me with how well he consoled her and brought her comfort. Major daddy brownie points! She weighs 9.4 lbs now and is 22 inches long.
We’ve had many exhausting days, but over the past couple of days, she has been sleeping much better through the night, only waking up once or twice. What a difference that makes!
It’s been difficult to be patient and follow the doctor’s orders not to run. The last time I ran was 8 weeks ago, 17 days before giving birth. I was hesitant but excited to try running for the first time with David and Rebekah in her jogging stroller this past Thursday. Much to my surprise, we were able to run a 5k in 31 minutes—that’s about a 10-minute pace! Honestly, what kept our speed up was when Rebekah started getting cranky. A crying baby will provide motivation, that’s for sure! David’s relieved to have his running partner back, but I have to work hard to match his pace. It’s funny how I used to be the faster one, pushing him along. I’m glad he maintained running in my absence so he can be the strong one now.
We are so grateful for the addition of several new ministry partners who have helped us reach 62% of our support goal. Their generosity enables us to devote our time to sharing the light of Christ in West Africa. Recently, David helped train four national partners (West Africans he working with and equipping to reach their local communities) in a West African nation to be more effective in online outreach as they engage in conversations with seekers (West Africans who are curious and open to learning about Jesus) online and look for opportunities to connect via telephone or face to face.
To keep this ministry going full-time, we need to raise steady monthly support. We are praying for partners to join our monthly team so we can stay fully focused on the work God has called us to do. Would you prayerfully consider joining our team as a monthly financial partner?
We are so grateful for your friendship and prayers for our family and ministry!
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