The Blessing on the Other Side of the Struggle

My ideal birth plan was to have a good night sleep, a nutritious breakfast, a coffee, my God time- all prior to needing to go to the hospital. That way I would be at my best- physically, mentally and spiritually.

I also wanted to spend a majority of labor in the comfort of my own home, to be at the hospital for a very short time, not to use any pain medication or an epidural, having the most natural birth possible. So when my water broke at 12:07 AM on August 7, we were already off to a bad start.

At that point I only had 1 hour of sleep in me. I decided to go back to bed to try to get more sleep, afraid of what it would be like to go into labor sleep deprived. When I woke up and called the OBGYN, they instructed me to go to the hospital for triage. I was hoping she would say to stay home until contractions were close together. After confirming that my water had broken, they didn’t want me to leave, so I was admitted.

When I reflect on the absolute limit of my own energy during labor, when my strength was gone, I had to rely entirely on God. I was tapping into what spiritual self-emptying actually feels like.

Before labor was reaching its peak, the ego believed it was in charge. I made my birth plan, did all this body prep work with exercise, stretches, diet, drinking my special “labor ease tea,” you name it. I was relying on willpower up until that point.

It’s almost like God allowed labor to go on until I had no fight left in me. In the moment it felt mean- like God, why are you allowing me to be suffering to this level?! The last time I was checked, I was only at 4 centimeters. I was getting very discouraged. No sleep for over 30 hours, I haven’t eaten anything for several hours, all the energy and strength I was holding onto for active labor, it’s all been used up. Now sleep deprived, no energy, cognitive functioning is low, motivation and drive isn’t there anymore.

I felt helpless and scared. I was looking at David, defeated, telling him I can’t do it anymore. I needed relief. I asked the nurse to come in to discuss my options for pain, but then the midwife came in and said she wanted to check me first. She said I was at 10 cm, it was time to go.

With every push accompanied with a loud, guttural cry, I was more and more depleted. This went on for almost 4 hours. My throat was sore from crying out in pain, I couldn’t even recognize the sounds I was making. It’s like an animalistic, instinctual power takes over. The nurses said I was growling, and would encourage me to “growl again, it’s working!”

I remember that last hour, all I could say was, “Lord, I need you,” just repeating Jesus‘ name in my mind in between pushes.

When I was reflecting on that moment, during my time with the Lord, the Holy Spirit interrupted my thoughts, and in my spirit, I heard, “I was there”.

It instantly brought me to tears, not that I didn’t know that He was with me, but to just be offered that reassurance and hear that comforting statement. I know He was there. I know I did not push this baby into the world in my own strength or ability. It was like my body was breaking, like I was giving it up. I don’t think I’ve ever been in a more surrendered state in my life, than in that moment.

He knew my human strength had to hit a wall, so that I would allow Him to take over. I had to step out of the way and let a force vastly greater than my ego work through me and bring forth life. When John the Baptist says, “I must decrease”, he is declaring that he must be emptied of his own agenda, so he can be filled with Christ’s purpose.

My physical exhaustion emptied me of self-sufficiency. I was stripped down to the absolute dynamic of creature and Creator. In that moment of complete depletion, I wasn’t just weak- I became a vessel of God’s sustaining power.

“My grace is sufficient for you for My power is made perfect in weakness”.
2 Corinthians 12:9

God often allows us to reach the absolute end of our natural strength because that is the only place where we finally stop relying on ourselves. The experience of the moment she was delivered is indescribable. My brain couldn’t process what was happening, like sensory overload, an out-of-body experience.

After 32 hours of labor, on 8/08 at 7:52am,
Rebekah May Blessing entered the world.
She weighed 6lbs 15oz.

My first morning home I was reading Psalm 85 and reflecting on my birthing experience. These verses stuck out to me:

“Faithfulness springs up from the ground,
and righteousness looks down from the sky. Yes, the Lord will give what is good.”
Psalm 85:11-12

This led me to one of favorite Old Testament books…

“Shower, O heavens, from above,
and let the clouds rain down righteousness;
let the earth open,
that salvation and righteousnessmay bear fruit;
let the earth cause them both to sprout;
I the Lord have created it.”
Isaiah 45:8

While the surface image is rain on dry soil- the underlying theme I was envisioning was conception, labor and delivery- creation itself acting as a mother, receiving divine life from above, to bring forth new creation.

With Rebekah’s arrival, I am now officially on maternity leave from my private practice. This means our household is fully transitioning to relying 100% on our ministry support raising. As our family steps into this season, our financial reliance on monthly partners becomes vital, and we want to openly invite you to stand with us.

I wanted to share how our ministry actually works, and invite you to be a vital part of this journey with us.

Our setup is a bit unique: we live here at home, which serves as our operational base, and we travel to West Africa multiple times throughout the year for direct, on-the-ground ministry. Between trips, David’s full-time work continues from home—coordinating projects, preparing training materials, and supporting our local partners in the field.

A lot of people naturally assume that missionaries receive a regular paycheck from their mission organization. In reality, our ministry is 100% funded through individual support raising.

Every part of what we do—our travel and field expenses, direct ministry work, and our family’s daily living expenses—is funded solely through the generosity of individuals, families, and churches who choose to partner with us financially. Without a committed team behind us, we simply cannot do this work.

We are looking for partners who will commit to ongoing monthly gifts to provide the stability we need to stay focused on the work God has called us to. Would you prayerfully consider joining our team as a monthly financial partner?